The joys of warm Axle Grease!

Ah, Axle Grease! There's nothing in the world quite like it! Spread thinly on golden buttered toast, maybe accompanied by a cup of strong Bushell's Tea, it makes the perfect relaxing brekkie or after-work snack.

I'm referring, of course, to the world-renowned Aussie spread- Vegemite!
We Aussies have a name for just about everything, and AXLE GREASE is the term of choice for our beloved spread. Another favourite condiment is DEAD HORSE - tomato sauce. We like to make silly rhymes to match the original words, but Vegemite got it's name from it's appearance. I reckon that's a no-brainer, so we'll move on to the intructional section of this piece!

My purpose today is to teach you how to make Vegemite on toast PROPERLY!
I know, PROPER is an adjective normally reserved for the English, but given the masses of people out there who have tried to like Vegemite and failed, I know that they must be doing something wrong. Granted, some tastebuds will never acquiesce to the potent flavour, but a large proportion of these failed gastronomic attempts can be attributed to just one simple thing: lack of knowledge.

Vegemite, folks, is not peanut butter. It is the foie gras of Coonabarabran, the beluga caviar of Yackandandah.
OK, so it's not quite as elite, and thankfully not nearly as expensive, but my point, folks, is that it must be used SPARINGLY!

Step 1: Assemble your ingredients and equipment. If you have a brand-spanking-new one of these on hand, it will help!
(my previous one died a slow death, so I bought this new fangled one three days ago!)

Here are my other equipment and ingredients. Pretend you see some nice fresh slices of white bread too. I forgot to photograph it. Duh. But I'm sure you've seen it before!

Ahhh, toast the bread in your new-fangled toaster (or not), until it is lovely and golden like this!


Now quick as you can, slather it with your very favourite butter or margarine- don't use the low fat variety unless you like that thick chemical cocktail taste. The key is to use plenty of butter or marg, and only a scrape of Vegemite!
Pardon me, I tarried while photographing my naked toast, and now my marg isn't melting properly! Just pretend it looks in every way just like the middle section and upper left corner. Moral of the story, if you want Vegemite toast that is just right, don't waste any time after you get it out of the toaster! Get that butter/margarine on it pronto! And use lots.

We interrupt this post to bring you a public health announcement. Too much butter is bad for your health. So slather it on, by all means. But don't do it every day. Amen.

Now, the secret to good Veg toast...
Just put a smidge, a fine scrape of the Mighty Mite across your toast. And eat it straight away!

Like I did. Mmmmmmmm.

Now after a couple of goes, you might be able to get a cuppa stewing while your toast is toasting. But if the kettle boils at the same time as the toaster pops, remember it is the toast that is your first priority!

As for me, well I had my hands full enough just trying to take photographs of rapidly cooling toast on my 1 megapixel i-Phone camera, while the late afternoon light was waning. So I just ate my toast and got on with the cup of tea later.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Please try this at home soon. Don't let past experiences deter you!

And now for a sneak preview of my next star ingredient....
See you then!